The Fairest of Them All...

Alright already! We know you haven’t heard from us in a while and are probably wondering how Team Satisfied handled America’s Favorite Fair. Please accept our apologies; we will now proceed to correct the situation.

Believe us when we tell you that it is not for a lack of material that we haven’t recorded our exploits of this hallowed end-of-summer signpost. Team Satisfied spent a record 16 days at the fair. Not bad for an event that was only 10 days long…

While some people think that walking all over the fairgrounds looking at vinyl siding, butter cows, or big pigs is what the fair is about we disagree. The fair is about making you feel better about yourself. No where in the world is there a larger collection of fashion victims than at the Iowa State Fair. Of course, the best vantage point for this therapy is the various beer tents on the fairgrounds. From these little islands you can stand with your best dressed friends and your cold adult beverage and witness the strangest combinations of body coverings ever created. Who would have thought that you could use mesh in so many ways. Now the lack of fabric present in many of today’s fashions may bother some but we are more disturbed by people hanging on to pieces of clothing that used to fit.

Because we know that people surely wouldn’t knowingly leave the house in garments clearly 3 sizes too small we have a theory about this mysterious ailment. We think there must be a microscopic organism or insect that bites people and makes them swell up- an allergic reaction of sorts. Think about it. It explains a lot, don’t you think?

Unfortunately (but not surprisingly given the previous information), none of the Team Satisfied double Xs were able to find any soul mates at the fair. Granted, there were a couple cuties dressed in brown but it’s hard to get the digits of a guy wearing patented leather shoes when you’ve been drinking monkey poison.

We did enjoy the company of Sid’s soul mate at one of the fine musical concerts we attended. Next year we’re toying with the idea of adjusting our ticket buying habits.
Sparkle’s wish for a ride on the Ferris wheel will have to wait until next year.

We’d like to provide you with an accurate account of exactly how many $5 beers were bought and how much overpriced, heart clogging food was consumed but we are afraid that if we ever did the math we’d kill ourselves. Not that we’d be able to afford a way to do it…

Rider Off.