The Fairest of Them All...

Alright already! We know you haven’t heard from us in a while and are probably wondering how Team Satisfied handled America’s Favorite Fair. Please accept our apologies; we will now proceed to correct the situation.

Believe us when we tell you that it is not for a lack of material that we haven’t recorded our exploits of this hallowed end-of-summer signpost. Team Satisfied spent a record 16 days at the fair. Not bad for an event that was only 10 days long…

While some people think that walking all over the fairgrounds looking at vinyl siding, butter cows, or big pigs is what the fair is about we disagree. The fair is about making you feel better about yourself. No where in the world is there a larger collection of fashion victims than at the Iowa State Fair. Of course, the best vantage point for this therapy is the various beer tents on the fairgrounds. From these little islands you can stand with your best dressed friends and your cold adult beverage and witness the strangest combinations of body coverings ever created. Who would have thought that you could use mesh in so many ways. Now the lack of fabric present in many of today’s fashions may bother some but we are more disturbed by people hanging on to pieces of clothing that used to fit.

Because we know that people surely wouldn’t knowingly leave the house in garments clearly 3 sizes too small we have a theory about this mysterious ailment. We think there must be a microscopic organism or insect that bites people and makes them swell up- an allergic reaction of sorts. Think about it. It explains a lot, don’t you think?

Unfortunately (but not surprisingly given the previous information), none of the Team Satisfied double Xs were able to find any soul mates at the fair. Granted, there were a couple cuties dressed in brown but it’s hard to get the digits of a guy wearing patented leather shoes when you’ve been drinking monkey poison.

We did enjoy the company of Sid’s soul mate at one of the fine musical concerts we attended. Next year we’re toying with the idea of adjusting our ticket buying habits.
Sparkle’s wish for a ride on the Ferris wheel will have to wait until next year.

We’d like to provide you with an accurate account of exactly how many $5 beers were bought and how much overpriced, heart clogging food was consumed but we are afraid that if we ever did the math we’d kill ourselves. Not that we’d be able to afford a way to do it…

Rider Off.

346 days till next year…

Oh my, how do we fill the hours till next year? Well, let me assure you, Team Satisfied is not a team to rest on it laurels. We have been keeping up our training routine as best we can, however the time we have to spend on our “jobs” and “responsibilities” is lost.

Notably, Sunshine and Sparkle led a Team Satisfied contingent to the most revered of all Jaycee activities, “Clive after Five.” S&S were happy to find a segment of the congenial Monkeys in attendance as well. As will happen, CAF turned into a couple of beers at a place aptly named Drink- which not surprisingly spawned a couple more at the 3rd Base Sports Bar- which then morphed into a nightcap at the Whiskey River. So Sparkle didn’t make it into work on Saturday (it was optional!) and Sunshine still hasn’t gotten her lawn mowed- oh well…

Sunday was a great day for riding so the spinning portion of our training continued with a 26 miler that ended with Sparkle’s first flat tire. Three years without incident is pretty good we’d say. Sunshine and Sugar got in a true training ride the following day while Sparkle had to miss due to previous commitments. Anyway, Sunshine and Sugar ran into Sassy at their “rest stop.” We can all be sure that it was a good thing that Sparkle was available to practice her sag driving abilities.

Team Satisfied’s next stop is the granddaddy of all people watching events, The Iowa State Fair. Don’t miss it if you are in the area. If you aren’t in the area- put it on your calendar for next year. If you are already planning to stop, keep an eye out for us. It’s a big place and people can be hard to find but a good start would be ruling out all the people committing heinous crimes against fashion. Another suggestion is to look where cold beer is served and the music is loud and live. Otherwise, we’ll be in the midway, mullet hunting. See ya’ll there!

Rider off.

A sober postscript

Team Satisfied enjoyed their Ragbrai experience very much and thought that there not anything that would taint it until they got the news Saturday night. Sparkle & Sugar's former team's bus had been in a terrible accident. Miraculously, only two people were aboard and while one sustained severe injuries, both survived the crash and resulting fire. All of Team Satisfied sends their thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery for both the passenger and the driver as well as prayers of support for all of their loved ones.

Speaking of home…

Team Satisfied awoke Friday morning knowing they were facing the hardest ride of them all- the ride home. Circumstances beyond our control (like the #@#$*& real world) were forcing us to miss the last two days of our beloved RAGBRAI. As we loaded up the trailer for the last time (this year), we vowed not to let anything get in our way of the full week next year.

We were not the only ones that felt great sadness at our leaving. Sparkle’s train wreck threw himself in front of the trailer in a last ditch effort to convince us to stay. But like our motto says, "Always leave them wanting more."

Rider Off.

Al fresco in al Cresco…

While satisfaction levels during the day Thursday into Cresco may have dipped to their lowest level of all week, Team Satisfied rallied with the help of the Bad Monkeys. If we can be serious for a moment here, Team Satisfied would like to thank the Monkeys for resuscitating our evening. It takes a real XY to wear a man purse and look good doing it- insert your own joke here, we’re trying to be appreciative…

Anyhoo, Sugar played the first “GHE” card of the week. Considering the lack of sleep that she experienced in Algona & Northwood and finding out that her very first soul mate is now married with a child, we understood. What we don’t understand is: exactly how long was that shuttle ride we took to get to the beer garden? Why were there two stops? Why did the walk seem so short on the way home? Did we really need to ride a shuttle in the first place?

In the morning we discovered that one of our team had left a trail of bread crumbs and a “marker flag” so that a certain soul mate could find our camp, the birds in Cresco must have eaten the trail. Certainly a tragedy on some levels, we have confidence that true love will always find its way home eventually…

So we sag- you wanna makes something of it?

Following such a satisfying evening, the team couldn’t bear the thought of continuing on without at least one day’s rest. As the song goes, “Wednesday is Sag Day,” so following a brunch of smamiches and a rehash of the night’s events, Team Satisfied showered up, did a little laundry and hit the road, this time in the big rig. We returned to the site of a previous ride and headed straight towards the nearest chicken and taco emporium. Apparently, the nugget and burrito machines are very loud and splash hot oil into the eyes of the help, because the server could not spot or hear Sugar through the crowd of boy scouts, even with her bellowing and waving of arms. Not a satisfying experience- better was the cold weather gear obtained at the local bulls-eye.

After settling into Northwood, the real washers tourney began and the whole team was put to shame by an 8 year old washer prodigy, who will be referred to as “Satisfied Stinker,” a name she has given herself. We think she’ll fit right in with her smashing good looks and charm- in about 13 years- when she’s 21- and when her dad will let her out of his sight. Sparkle’s train wreck from Algona got back on track and she left Northwood much more satisfied. Less happy was a Bad Monkey with a bad toe caused by Sugar. Brady self-medicated to ease his own agony. We were all seeing stars as the bar closed, giving way to a beautiful sunny Thursday.

Team Satisfied considered riding out of Northwood on their bikes a victory but our satisfaction with the day would soon come to a screeching halt. While everything seemed to be ok through Stacyville (where Miami boy #1 and Sunshine placed in the egg toss contest) but somewhere around Riceville, things started to stink. After we ruled out any egg debris on Sunshine & Miami, we realized that we had reached the inevitable position for 4 unrelated people traveling across the state in a crew cab truck and a 16 foot trailer- WE HATED EACH OTHER!

Always the scientists, we have determined that a large part of our distress was our tactical error of missing the party in the beer garden in Riceville. Team Satisfied does not go down easily though (despite what you may have heard) and we forged ahead, riding ALL the way into Lime Springs before breaking down and begging our forgiving sag driver to rescue us from 13.3 more miles of teeth jarring, arm breaking roads.