What?!?!?

And all this time we thought we had cornered the market on the "how-do-you-do" pole-dance greeting...


We have no idea who this woman is but she is NOT on our team! We want our signature move back!

Why call when you can email?

An entertaining email exchange between the members of Team Satisfied occurred the other day… (Names and details have been altered to protect the innocent AND the guilty.)

Sunshine wrote:

Hello??? Are you guys still out there?? I miss my Spark and Sug! What have you been up to? I'm happy to report that I am not going to Louisiana, and therefore the colon blow diet is officially cancelled! Whew! I was beginning to get very attached to the view from the seat in my bathroom. hehe:) I feel like I haven't see you two crazy cats forever! Have you exercised so much that you've wasted away to nothing??

I hope you're not avoiding me. Anyway, Just wondering if we are doing BRRR, Sparks?? There are a couple other things going on that day too, so I'm not sure if you're still up for pre-RAGBRAI in a couple weeks. Which reminds me...THE ROUTE COMES OUT IN 3 DAYS!!! I can't wait. I am still working out like a crazy lady and feeling like I am making no progress at all. I will keep chugging (not beer!) along though. Someday I will be as fit and trim as you two. I don't know much. Just trying to kill time before I go home for the day. I am going to see GB Leighton in DM tonight, so if I don't talk to you again, I have run away with him forever. By the way...I sure have been spending a lot of time with XYXYXYX XY lately.....:)

Please quit ignoring me,
Sunny

Sugar wrote:

Rest assured, my dear Sunny, I have not abandoned you! I may not be able to say the same for our dear Sparks, though. She, in fact, IS running away with someone this weekend. I won't divulge any more information than that (at least not in an email cc'd to Sparkle). I am a little saddened that you didn't ask me if I was going on the BRR Ride... I'm not, but still... I wish I was...

Working out is going well, although I am not wasting away to nothing. No real threat of that if I keep eating the way I have been. I haven't been feeling the best lately. I think I can see a direct correlation between lack of beer (it's been like 2 weeks) and not feeling like myself. I will have to do some barley and hops supplementation this weekend to get myself by.

I almost emailed you on Monday to give you crap for not hauling your ass out of bed on Saturday to run 6 miles with the group. Even XXXXXXXX made it all 6 miles (although she ran most of it by herself...). If she can run 6 miles, surely you can!! So, then I'll see you THIS Saturday at 8am for 7 miles!

"Sunny and XYXYXYX XY - sittin' in a tree - K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

Sug

Sparkle wrote:

I thought XYXYXYX XY was a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSER?!?

What happened- did he sell his green camaro?

Right now I'm laughing my A$$ off!- good grief i'm hilarious!

Brrrrrrrrr ride is probably gonna have to go on without Team Satisfied unless you and Sid wanna go. I'm gonna take a class for cont. ed credits for my PT certification. Class is in Ames and the city is gonna pay so it's hard to turn that down.

Don't let Sug lie to you. She has been avoiding you. She sez her new best friend XXXXXXXX is gonna take your place in the Super Ocho this coming Ragbrai season.

Byebye
Sparkle "Russell" Cox

Sunshine wrote:

The TRANS AM is RED, not green you geek. And he is kind of a dork, but I like his voice:)
Not disappointed about BRRR. It's too cold to ride bikes. Are you going to that Triathlon training thing or something else? I can't decide if I should go to that or not. I don't want to go by myself.
And I don't think you have ANY room to be giving me shit...miss "i'm going away for the weekend." Just where do you think you're going?? And who are you going there with??? I want all the details....NOW!

Sparkle wrote:

Go to the tri clinic you wuss. I'm already gonna have to do 4 hours of workin' out that afternoon.

I am going to North Carolina. To see my friend XYXY. We are most likely gonna get married and have 10,000 babies this weekend. Too bad you won't be able to come to the wedding. I'll be back Tuesday.

What is the story with going to Louisiana, not going to Louisiana? Did your parents find a house? Are you ever gonna come get this way-too-small-for-my-wide-ass dress of yours? I know you loaned it to me and really it'd be appropriate for me to bring it back to you but you never invite me over to watch a movie and drink a beer but I guess if you are suck-facing with Mr. XY its understandable why you don't have time for your soulmates Sug and Sparks anymore.

I'm sure you won't get this till tomorrow cause its 4:05 and you leave at 3:59.

Say hello to GB for me.
-cssrh

And after only a 24 hour lapse…

Sparkle wrote:

Ok. I see how it's gonna be. I email you because you beg me to and then you don't even give me the courtesy of a reply. Yeah, that's ok. I'm not hurt. See if I care. Cause I don't. Really. I'm going to go lock myself in the bathroom and cry now.

-Sad Sparks


Sunshine wrote:

Ok, ok, I'm here now. I'm sorry that I've been working all day and haven't had time to write you back. I just sent you a VERY nice forward. I think you will like it. I'm glad to hear that you and XYXY are so in love but I'm a little hurt that you didn't give me enough notice to be able to make it to the wedding this weekend. Bitch. Guess I see how I rate. I'd at least have the courtesy to invite you to my damn wedding. whatever. I can't even believe you won't be here this weekend for the ceremonial unveiling of the 2006 RAGBRAI route. Guess I'll have to celebrate with Sug...and we won't miss you!!!

So anyway, I say that we find a night next week to get together, the 3 of us. It's been far too long. We need to make the short swap. And it sounds like Sug is ready for a frosty adult beverage. I know I am. PS...I went to GB Leighton last night in DM and was VERY well behaved. I only had 2 beers!!! I was sober the whole night...you would have been sooo impressed! Well, I'm going home for the evening. I hope you are doing well. If I don't talk to you before you leave to go see your bf, have fun and don't forget to come back!!! Talk to you soon:)

DSMJDC212

And then Sunny emailed just Sugar...

Sunny wrote:

Ok, so I found the info about the tri training group on the website. you can 10-22 on my request, Sug.

As for my other question of the hour...are we still going to KC in March?? I assume that's a 10-4, but just wanted to check. I don't really have much going today so I've been reviewing every day of 2006 to determine if there's something I might possibly need to take the day off work for:) And I know that all previously made plans are now dependant on Sparks' marital status and the flexiblity of her husband to allow her to fly back from SC or wherever the hell he lives:) K. I'll let you know if anything else comes up....

And then later after Sug and Spark found out that Sunny was going on a date…

Sugar wrote:

We've taken a vote and you are out of Team Satisfied if you do, in fact, willingly go to Red Lobster in the red Camaro with XYXYXYX XY. We think this might be a fine opportunity for you to introduce Mr. XY to the rest of the team. Therefore, we have called a meeting of the team TONIGHT at O'Malley's around 6-6:30-ish. The whole team will be in attendance and if you don't show up, we are sending Hot Nuts to your table at the Orange Crab. Although they may not be the only hot nuts in your mouth tonight, they will be the best tasting.

Have a nice day... ByeBye

Sug

Who cares...

It seems that we don't. At least not until we had our first Team Satisfied meeting of the new year! GIDDEYUP! We are now under 200 days of waiting!

Sparkle's new bike is in. Sparkle's old bike is still for sale. Interested?

Sugar's bike is on the trainer in her basement. She's aiming for 2600 miles before September- hopefully not all inside.

Sunshine still refuses to acknowledge she owns a bike.

Satisfied Sid continues his off-season training program. It takes a lot to be ready for those 3 miles of riding.

Yesterday was beautiful, almost suitable for riding. Today is a brutal reminder that its still January... in Iowa...

Rider off.

You're HOW old?!?

Four score and seven years ago (well actually not nearly that long ago but this sounds more poetic), a baby girl was born in Pleasant Harbor on the Mississippi. We chose this weekend to commerate the anniversary of Sugar's arrival the same way we choose to celebrate anything- with beer. Follow along as we recount the exploits of Team Satisfied as the mark Sugar's entry into middle age (and by middle we mean old enough to know better but almost too young to care).

Fortunately for us, the 21st fell on a Friday this year. Quite possibly the only thing worse than having your birthday in the middle of the week is having your teammate have to be on call. But since we are not a group to tempt fate, (wildly cackling laugh would be good right here) we decided to forge ahead with our plans. At least, we reasoned, we'd have a good designated driver. As is Sug & Spark's tradition, the first stop of the evening was to visit their favorite bartender of all time at the O'Malley & McGee's Mexican Restaurant.

It's well known that Team Satisfied likes to drink beer and will gladly accept a beer from just about anybody that's buying however, we have a rule- Team Satisfied does not do hard liquor. This includes, but is not limited to, SHOTS. Our philosophy has always been that its better to remember the drunks last night than be remembered as the drunk last night. Somehow, small rapidly ingested quanities of grain alcohol seem to turn our tables more than we'd like. I digress- back to the story...

So meanwhile at OM&MG's some well-intentioned but insane individual has managed to get us to put his Hot Nuts in our mouths (1/2 drambuie, 1/2 decaf- as in coffee- yuk). Clearly this celebratory event has started off badly for our birthday girl. You know what they say about once the water is over the dam don't you?

Wouldn't you know it! As soon as we stopped at a friend's homecoming party our DD got the page... she had to go off to handle an insurance emergency. Not willing to let this Sugar off the hook though, Sunny entrusted Sparks and the crew at the Whiskey River to complete the celebration of this milestone. Well, word travels fast and soon Sug was enjoying another complimentary beverage, not of her choice.

Stranded, Sug and Sparks had no other recourse than to call in the drunks best friend, the sag driver. Satisfied Sid works a second shift so on his way home he stopped by and rescued these damsels in distress. WHAT would we do without him?!?

Real life sucks!

Despite vowing to not let it happen, it seems as though our real lives sucked us back in. Here we are, just 2 months after Ragbrai XXXIII and already Team Satisfied’s blog has been seriously neglected. It isn't like there hasn’t been any Team activity going on. It's just that we've had to deal with work while at work. Blech.

However, Sunshine has been after Sparks and Sug to get on it and they have responded with a hearty dose of "do it your own*&^%#!$ self". Surprisingly, this did not inspire our teammate (who is equally as gifted at bullshit by the way) to sit down at her computer to record our latest antics. SOOOOOO…. once again Sparkle will attempt to do her best to sum everything up- no whining if she leaves anything out.

Highlight:
-Sparkle and Sunshine getting the bartender to not only buy them a beer but also one for the cute guy sitting all alone at the end of the bar.

Highlight:
-Sunshine having a birthday. Had Sparks and Sug not gotten home at 5 that morning from the previous night’s party… well we’ll just say Satisfied Sid tried to represent but really he’s only one man.

Highlight:
-Sugar and Sparkle donning their lederhosen and downing a few at Oktoberfest. Guess which soulmate managed to show up for that event? Sparks and a Really Nice Guy took being “wingmen” to a new art form. How many of you can say you know your friend’s five favorite movies of all time? That’s what we thought. Sparks & RNG agree you have to talk about something to pass the time when your original buddies suddenly disappear.

Highlight:
-Sunshine taking over Kansas City. She claims all these trips are for career development but she certainly seems to come back VERY tired from these “workshops.” One wonders just what career path she's chosen...

Highlight:

-Satisfied Sid, Sugar, and Sparkle finding out that keggers in barns are just as much fun as they were in high school- without the pesky interuption of running from the cops. Who knew you could make a beer bong out of a plastic flamingo lawn ornament?!?!

Highlight:
-Sugar signing up for Wisconsin Ironman. Officially she will be in training for this grueling event over Ragbrai XXXIV. Sunshine, Sparkle, and Sid believe they can pick up her party slack. In fact, we’re hoping this means she’ll drive sag instead of pounding ‘em at those last-towns-before-the-overnight party towns.

So we know you want more but that’s all we gots right now. Keep checking back: Sug has a birthday with a 0 behind the first number. Later she & Sparks are headed to Vegas for a week. Sunshine claims she might try to join them… to quote a famous Vegas player, “Lawdy Miss Clawdy!”

Rider off.

The Fairest of Them All...

Alright already! We know you haven’t heard from us in a while and are probably wondering how Team Satisfied handled America’s Favorite Fair. Please accept our apologies; we will now proceed to correct the situation.

Believe us when we tell you that it is not for a lack of material that we haven’t recorded our exploits of this hallowed end-of-summer signpost. Team Satisfied spent a record 16 days at the fair. Not bad for an event that was only 10 days long…

While some people think that walking all over the fairgrounds looking at vinyl siding, butter cows, or big pigs is what the fair is about we disagree. The fair is about making you feel better about yourself. No where in the world is there a larger collection of fashion victims than at the Iowa State Fair. Of course, the best vantage point for this therapy is the various beer tents on the fairgrounds. From these little islands you can stand with your best dressed friends and your cold adult beverage and witness the strangest combinations of body coverings ever created. Who would have thought that you could use mesh in so many ways. Now the lack of fabric present in many of today’s fashions may bother some but we are more disturbed by people hanging on to pieces of clothing that used to fit.

Because we know that people surely wouldn’t knowingly leave the house in garments clearly 3 sizes too small we have a theory about this mysterious ailment. We think there must be a microscopic organism or insect that bites people and makes them swell up- an allergic reaction of sorts. Think about it. It explains a lot, don’t you think?

Unfortunately (but not surprisingly given the previous information), none of the Team Satisfied double Xs were able to find any soul mates at the fair. Granted, there were a couple cuties dressed in brown but it’s hard to get the digits of a guy wearing patented leather shoes when you’ve been drinking monkey poison.

We did enjoy the company of Sid’s soul mate at one of the fine musical concerts we attended. Next year we’re toying with the idea of adjusting our ticket buying habits.
Sparkle’s wish for a ride on the Ferris wheel will have to wait until next year.

We’d like to provide you with an accurate account of exactly how many $5 beers were bought and how much overpriced, heart clogging food was consumed but we are afraid that if we ever did the math we’d kill ourselves. Not that we’d be able to afford a way to do it…

Rider Off.

346 days till next year…

Oh my, how do we fill the hours till next year? Well, let me assure you, Team Satisfied is not a team to rest on it laurels. We have been keeping up our training routine as best we can, however the time we have to spend on our “jobs” and “responsibilities” is lost.

Notably, Sunshine and Sparkle led a Team Satisfied contingent to the most revered of all Jaycee activities, “Clive after Five.” S&S were happy to find a segment of the congenial Monkeys in attendance as well. As will happen, CAF turned into a couple of beers at a place aptly named Drink- which not surprisingly spawned a couple more at the 3rd Base Sports Bar- which then morphed into a nightcap at the Whiskey River. So Sparkle didn’t make it into work on Saturday (it was optional!) and Sunshine still hasn’t gotten her lawn mowed- oh well…

Sunday was a great day for riding so the spinning portion of our training continued with a 26 miler that ended with Sparkle’s first flat tire. Three years without incident is pretty good we’d say. Sunshine and Sugar got in a true training ride the following day while Sparkle had to miss due to previous commitments. Anyway, Sunshine and Sugar ran into Sassy at their “rest stop.” We can all be sure that it was a good thing that Sparkle was available to practice her sag driving abilities.

Team Satisfied’s next stop is the granddaddy of all people watching events, The Iowa State Fair. Don’t miss it if you are in the area. If you aren’t in the area- put it on your calendar for next year. If you are already planning to stop, keep an eye out for us. It’s a big place and people can be hard to find but a good start would be ruling out all the people committing heinous crimes against fashion. Another suggestion is to look where cold beer is served and the music is loud and live. Otherwise, we’ll be in the midway, mullet hunting. See ya’ll there!

Rider off.